「Come to think of it, was it really okay for Naokyun to go outside? Didn’t your grandpa say you should rest—」
Grandpa must have consulted Doctor about it.
As he spoke, he stepped closer, peering into my face.
「Wait a minute… you look pale! Are you having an attack or something?」
「An attack?」
「Uh—ah—erm…」
He scratched his head awkwardly, glancing off to the side as if searching for an escape.
I’d never seen him this flustered before—usually, he was all jokes and bravado.
「Look, there’s a leaf sticking out.」
He pointed at the vine of a sweet potato that Gomi was holding.
Did he mishear attack as leaf?
「See? Everyone here is just plain weird.」
「Oh? You got a problem with me?」
「What, am I wrong? A useless guy and some gay-looking—」
「Haaah? You sure have some nerve saying that right to my face. I am a full-fledged gay, thank you very much!」
「What!?」
「What’s wrong with owning it? I am a gay, and I say that with pride!」
Gomi shrank under his forceful declaration.
Well, he was named Kamada, after all.
Guess even someone like Gomi ended up calling her gay(okama) in a roundabout, polite way.
Then, I had to take pride in my own title, too.
「I am a producer! That means I know the vegetables I grow.」
At the very least, I could tell the difference between sweet potatoes and whatever nonsense Gomi was spewing.
「And you can insult me all you want, but taking it out on someone unrelated like Doctor is just pathetic.」
「Naokyun…」
For some reason, he was now looking at me with burning admiration.
Why did I suddenly feel even more exhausted?
「You’ve got some nerve acting high and mighty, considering all the mistakes you’ve made—」
「Oh? And you think you’re in any position to talk? You’re the real criminal here.」
「…What the hell are you saying?」
「Haaah? Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten what you did?」
He let out a deep sigh, then shot Gomi a sharp look I’d never seen from her before.
「First of all, spraying herbicide constitutes property damage and obstruction of business.」
「Is that really a crime?」
I knew Gomi had used herbicide.
But I never imagined something like that could be considered a criminal act.
「And since you also vandalized the storage shed, that’s another count of obstruction.」
「Tch… But this farm wasn’t even yours in the first place! It was made by that dog over there, wasn’t it? You can’t charge me for a crime if the victim isn’t even human!」
…Huh?
As far as I knew, aside from Potato’s little potato patch, I was the one managing this entire farm.
Did Gomi seriously think Potato was the one growing all this?
「Uh, no, actually—I am the producer here.」
「Like hell you are! The dog was the one answering all the magazine and TV interviews!」
I recalled that there had been statements from the producer in various online articles, but I had always assumed Grandpa was the one giving them.
「Wait… is that true?」
I glanced over at Chips for confirmation.
She shook his head.
If it wasn’t Chips, then it had to be Potato.
But there was no way our dog could handle interviews.
I mean, it’s not like he could talk or anything.
『Potato!』
Chips suddenly perked up, looking toward the farm.
A moment later, I spotted Potato sprinting over, wielding a hoe.
As always, he was standing upright on two legs.
『You little—!』
…Huh?
For a split second, it sounded like Potato actually said something.
Was I hearing things?
Also, didn’t Chips just call his name?
「And by the way, Naokyun, you probably didn’t know this either, but the vegetables here have been officially designated as a secondary national resource.」
「A… secondary national resource?」
That phrase made no sense to me.
When I thought of national resources, things like gas and oil came to mind—things that had become pretty much obsolete these days.
「The government has decided to classify the magically-infused crops grown here as protected assets. They’re now on the same level as gas, oil, and dungeons.」
「Wha—WHAAAT!?」
My voice rang out across the farm.
Gas and oil were considered little more than relics of the past, and everyone knew dungeons were under strict government control.
Did that mean this farm was going to be managed the same way?
That was only going to make farm work even harder.
Well, I guess they could just monitor things through the cameras.
Still, treating the vegetables grown here as a national resource seemed like a bit of a stretch.
They were way too easy to grow.
With Dori’s help and a bit of enchantment, they matured in half the time of regular crops.
Was it really okay to declare something like that a national asset?
If anything, it made me more worried about the state of this country.
「Papa!」
「Papa-san! I heard a scream—are you okay!?」
I had been lost in thought, trying to make sense of everything, when I suddenly found Sena and Lady standing right in front of me.
「Mmm—!」
Dori was stretching up on her tiptoes, trying to pat my head, but she couldn’t quite reach.
「If he said something so terrible you can’t even repeat it, don’t worry—I’ll personally send him straight to hell.」
Sena was in full heavy armor, while Lady had summoned a massive pool of poison.
This was not the kind of scene you expected to see in the middle of a farm.
『You okay?』
『Naoki, we worried.』
『Bite him in the butt—it fix everything!』
At my feet, Potato was…
Wait.
Chips was talking too.
That wasn’t just my imagination, was it?
But I had more pressing matters to deal with right now.
「Uh—maybe let’s not go overboard here.」
I quickly reached out and grabbed both their hands to stop them.
Even if this was just a fallow field, I couldn’t let them trash the place.
「Haaah!?」
Sena was so startled she dropped her shield.
Had I surprised her that much?
Meanwhile, Lady was watching with an amused smile.
「It’s fine, Naokyun. Anyone who damages a secondary national resource is treated the same as criminals and monsters.」
「Haaah!?」
「If the law can’t punish them, then Explorers will. Oh, how delightful.」
Apparently, Gomi was officially classified as a monster-tier threat now, which meant Explorers were free to dispose of him.
Wasn’t that a little extreme?
Was this country really okay?
Before I knew it, I was completely surrounded—by Explorers and monsters alike.
「Papa, pat pat.」
And in the middle of it all, Dori was happily patting my head.
Her hand was…completely covered in dirt.
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