「So… I’m really dead…?」
I asked the beautiful woman in front of me, feeling a bit lost.
「Yeah. That’s right… I’m sorry.」
The beautiful woman replied, also looking unsure.
She had long black hair and dark eyes, dressed in a white robe and red hakama that gave off a shrine maiden vibe. She claimed to be a goddess and said her name was Mikoto-san.
As for me…Sasaki…I was just an ordinary young man in a plain sweat suit.
Not particularly tall or short, not fat or skinny, not handsome but not ugly either…just average. Wrapped in sweatshirt, I was the very picture of a plain 27-year-old man.
Well, according to Mikoto-san, I’m already dead, so maybe I should say “the late Sasaki”, aged 27…
Now that I think about it, I lived a pretty average life.
I lived normally, got into college normally, failed job hunting normally, and ended up living as a NEET.
Wait… that’s not average. That’s below average.
That below-average me spent about a year as a NEET, unable to bring myself to job hunt again, and instead started doing a laid-back part-time job.
Besides the occasional shift, I spent most of my time in front of the computer, quietly drowning in anxiety about the future.
If I weren’t such a downer, I probably would’ve relied on a special cure called “Strong” to get through it.
That’s how anxious I was every day.
But now, it seems I’ve lost not just my future, but the future itself.
…Well, I can probably guess the cause of death.
「It was because of ‘that’, wasn’t it…?」
「Yeah, it was because of ‘that’…」
◇
Early February, the day after a heavy snowstorm brought on by a strong low-pressure system blanketed Kanto.
I was walking home after finishing a late-night shift.
As I carefully stepped along the slippery roads, I saw a woman descending the steps of a shrine.
It was a shrine with some history, popular during New Year’s for hatsumode.
But to get there, you had to climb 900 steps.
Even for New Year’s, I wouldn’t want to go.
Let alone in the early morning after a blizzard.
Curious, I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye and tried to pass by the base of the stairs…but failed.
She was too beautiful.
I couldn’t look away.
She had black hair, black eyes, and was wearing a suit. Maybe an office lady.
But she was ‘too’ beautiful.
Far too beautiful to be just an ordinary office worker.
Her long black hair was smooth and elegant, her eyes sharp and full of willpower.
A straight nose, soft and glossy lips…every feature was perfectly formed.
She didn’t even feel human.
She looked like either an angel descended to earth, or a devil from the hell here to corrupt mankind.
「Ah.」
While I was distracted, lost in thought and staring off to the side, I slipped and tumbled forward.
I landed headfirst into the ground, but thanks to the snow, the impact wasn’t too bad…
「Kyah!」
「…!!」
Right after a light jolt to my face, a much heavier shock slammed into the back of my head.
I panicked, unable to process what had just happened.
「Guuuuh…」
Pain started to creep in from the back of my head, slowly but surely, and I writhed on the ground.
「…A-Are you okay?」
「…Y-Yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry.」
I managed to answer the concerned voice as I stood up.
When someone asks if you’re okay, it’s just instinct for a Japanese to say “I’m fine”.
Whether it’s true or not doesn’t matter. It really hurts.
「I’m sorry… I stepped on you really hard…」
「…Ah, I-I see. No, I’m the one who should apologize.」
So she stepped on me…
Apparently, my head had slipped right between her foot and the ground as she was coming down the stairs.
What am I, some kind of yokai?
She probably didn’t even have time to avoid it.
I thought an angel had descended to earth, but it seems what really descended was the back of my head.
「You’re swaying… Are you sure you’re okay?」
「…Y-Yeah. I’m fine. Totally fine, really.」
I answered quickly, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in my skull.
…That was the first time I’d ever been stepped on by a woman.
Apparently, in some circles, that’s considered a reward.
If anyone can honestly call this a reward, they’ve got real dedication. Professionals are on a different level.
「W-Well, I’ll be going now. I’m really sorry.」
My thoughts were clearly all over the place.
Maybe my head really ‘wasn’t’ okay.
But I was so embarrassed from what just happened that I hurried away from the scene like I was running for my life.
「Ah, you should go to a hospital…」
I heard her calling out behind me, but I pretended not to hear and picked up my pace.
Whether it was because I rushed on the snowy road or because my head had taken too much damage, I slipped and fell again.
Tears welling up in my eyes, I somehow made it home…
◇
「So, after that, I went home and went to bed…」
「It was an acute subdural hematoma. Blood built up between your brain and dura mater, and that’s what…」
Yeah, I really should’ve gone to the hospital like she said.
But I was embarrassed, and it hurt, so I just sulked and went straight to bed when I got home…
Next thing I knew, I was here…in what looked like a conference room, complete with chairs, a table, and a whiteboard.
And sitting across from me was none other than the absurdly beautiful woman who had stepped on me…Mikoto-san, the self-proclaimed goddess.
I thought she was an angel who had descended to earth, but I was off by a little.
Turns out, she was an actual goddess.
Now she’d changed from the office lady look at the shrine into a shrine maiden outfit, sitting in a conference room chair.
…Isn’t that backward? Shouldn’t it be shrine maiden ‘at’ the shrine and office lady ‘in’ the meeting room?
Actually, why a conference room in the first place?
「I truly am sorry.」
While I was getting lost in that offbeat thought, Mikoto-san bowed her head and apologized to me.
…It made me feel kind of bad.
I was the one who went and got myself stepped on out of nowhere.
It was basically like ‘she’ was the one who got caught up in an accident.
I remembered seeing a story on TV once…someone got drunk and passed out in the middle of the road at night, and a driver hit them and got arrested.
Back then I thought, ‘What a terrible story. There’s no way you could avoid that. I feel sorry for the driver.’
It’s the same thing here. She’s not at fault.
「No, it’s not your fault. I was the one who wasn’t paying attention.」
「I think so too.」
…You’re just going to say that yourself, huh.
「…Ahem. That said, I am a goddess who watches over Earth. And I personally took the life of someone living there. Therefore, I believe I must make amends.」
「I see… And what exactly do you mean by ‘make amends’?」
「If possible, I’d like to undo the accident entirely…」
Well yeah, that would be best for both of us.
By undoing it, does she mean bringing me back to life or maybe turning back time?
「Unfortunately, that’s not possible. If it had been before your death, there would’ve been ways to intervene. But you’ve already passed. Your wake, funeral, and seventh-day memorial have all been completed without issue.」
「Is that so…」
She didn’t have to say it all went “without issue”…
Still, sounds like it’s been a while since I died.
Hearing the word “funeral” really makes it sink in.
I was a pretty useless son, but I wonder if my parents were still sad about it?
As for friends… well, I barely had any, so whatever.
So even the seventh-day memorial is over…
I wonder what happened to my room?
Have they cleaned it out already? Or maybe it’s still too soon?
…Ah, my computer!! Ughhh… I’ve heard all those stories about the “post-death computer problem,” but I always thought, ‘“The person’s dead, so who cares, right?”‘
But now, finding myself conscious after dying… this is torture.
I want to delete my browser bookmarks. Just that. Please don’t look at them…
「…May I continue?」
「Ah, yes.」
Mikoto-san continued speaking while giving me a suspicious look as I squirmed in embarrassment.
She could’ve been a little more gentle with a dead guy reminiscing about his past…
「Normally, when a person’s life ends, their soul is purified. After losing all memories, they receive a new life in a different world.」
So it’s like recycling. That’s pretty eco-friendly.
「Your soul would normally be handled that way too, Sasaki-san, but…」
‘Handled’, huh.
「That would just be a regular reincarnation. It wouldn’t count as making amends. …So, I have a proposal. How about starting a new life without purification, with your memories intact?」
「Eh!?」
「Because your memories remain, I can’t have you reincarnate on Earth again. The condition would be to send you to a different world under my management.」
O-Ohhhh… Is this that ‘isekai reincarnation’ thing!? Cheat skills!? Overpowered battles!? Harem!?
I thought it only happened with truck accidents… But thinking about it, this has to be the ultimate case of “killed by divine mistake”.
So… isekai reincarnation, huh… But still…
「What do you think?」
「To be honest… I don’t have much confidence…」
「Hm?」
「Even if I were given an amazing cheat skill, I don’t think I could handle fighting scary monsters… And a harem… that’s just not for me…」
「Hah?」
Mikoto-san stared at me with an unbelievably cold look in her eyes.
…Is this another kind of reward?
「J-Just for reference, what kind of cheat skill would I get?」
「Cheat skill… what’s that?」
Mikoto-san asked in an oddly adorable tone.
Even if you ask ‘me’ what it is… well, the classics would be…
「Maybe space magic, an item box, or appraisal? Stuff like that shows up almost certainly on SHMTranslations.」
「??? …SHMTranslations? What’s that?」
「Eh…」
You… you don’t know SHMTranslations…?
Well, I guess that makes sense when you consider its popularity and the existence of piracy… yeah, okay…
「Um, so, you’ll give me some kind of magic that makes daily life easier, or powerful magic that lets me beat monsters easily, right?」
「There aren’t any monsters. And there’s no magic either.」
「Eh?」
「Eh?」
「Wait, huh? This ‘is’ an isekai reincarnation, right? I’m supposed to be super strong and popular and build a harem, right? …Ugh」
There it is again…that cold, disdainful look like she’s staring at trash.
This must be another reward. Should I just say ‘“Thank you”‘?
「I don’t know what gave you that idea, but the world you’re going to isn’t some fairy tale land with monsters and magic.」
A person who looks like she walked straight out of a fantasy novel is denying fantasy itself…
「And besides, cheat skill? Planning to use some ridiculous power to force women to fall for you… that’s outrageous.」
Huh? That’s not really the kind of harem I had in mind…
What is she imagining…some kind of barbarian?
…Anyway, Mikoto-san seems to be the serious, upright type.
Someone with a “Harems are immoral!” kind of mindset.
I’d better be careful what I say around her.
「So, um, what kind of world am I going to be reincarnated into?」
「Let’s see… It’s a world with a similar environment to Earth. Peaceful, calm people live there, and there’s hardly any conflict. The civilization is a bit more advanced than your Earth, I’d say.」
No battles, huh. So no ‘I’m-so-OP’ scenarios.
And if the civilization is more advanced, that probably rules out any knowledge cheats, too…
「I see… Sorry about all that. I think I misunderstood a few things. Well, you see… I used to read books like that during my lifetime.」
「Books like that? Do you mean… harem–」
「…In that case, would you please send me to that world? I’d like to live a peaceful new life.」
I cut her off before she could scold me again and asked to be reincarnated.
Like I said from the beginning, I’m not cut out for battles or harems.
A quiet second life in a peaceful world sounds just right for me.
「Very well, then…」
Was she about to begin the reincarnation process?
Mikoto-san stood up, slowly raised her right hand toward me…
「I’ve heard everything!!」
Just as the moment of reincarnation was about to begin…the conference room door burst open, and another stunningly beautiful woman stormed in.
next chapter: Harem
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