After the meal, everyone went their own way, some resting, some heading for a bath, others going out for a walk.
As for me, I was standing beside Wendy, washing the dishes.
I usually left this task to her, but today I felt that cleaning up was part of our work as well, so I decided to help.
「It was a great success, wasn’t it」
「Yeah. Though it felt like the others enjoyed it even more than Mizera did…」
「It was so sudden, so that’s only natural. But she ate a lot and said it was delicious」
「Yeah. That made me happy」
Mizera had eaten each dish carefully, savoring it as if it were precious.
Both Wendy and I ended up piling more and more onto her plate, until she looked at us in exasperation, saying she couldn’t possibly finish it all.
「At first she seemed hesitant, but once Shiro and the others started having fun, she relaxed」
「We owe it to everyone」
「Fufu, though they were just being their usual selves」
Maybe it was simply the good meat that raised their spirits, but either way, the result was what mattered.
「Still, that chocolate was amazing…」
「It really was. The balance of bitterness and sweetness was perfect… It was an imperial specialty, wasn’t it?」
「Yeah. Seems it hasn’t spread much outside the empire yet」
「…I see. That explains the five million Norl price tag」
「Ahaha…」
Honestly, I had been nervous about admitting it…
She wasn’t angry, more exasperated, really. Still, the pot was still full of Chocwo, so it had been a good purchase. Yes. No regrets.
Clatter.
Something fell behind us.
When I turned around, I saw Mizera standing there in a daze, a wooden bowl lying at her feet.
「Ah, you brought that over? Thanks」
「I’m sorry… I just wanted to help with something… But, f-five mi…」
「It can’t be helped when it’s for good food」
「Haah… You really haven’t changed… Well, it’s Master’s money that Master has earned, so it’s fine…」
「Um… is he always like this…?」
「Yes. Master can’t resist good food」
「Now, now. Even you couldn’t resist sneaking a taste earlier, Wendy. Don’t go pointing fingers」
「Waah, waah! Please keep that a secret!」
Hahaha.
Wendy probably wanted to show a composed side in front of Mizera, but it was only a matter of time.
「Haah… Wendy-sama, it must be difficult for you…」
「Not really. You get used to it. If you end up staying here, you’ll have to get used to it too, or it will be tough」
「…I see. Ah, let me help」
「Alright. Then please put the dishes I dry back on the shelf. If there’s anything you don’t understand, you can always ask either me or Master」
…So Mizera still hasn’t decided to stay here.
Well, it’s not something she can easily decide, so it can’t be helped.
Wendy seemed to sense that too, and continued the conversation without pressing further, so I left it alone as well.
Before long, we naturally fell into a rhythm: I washed, Wendy dried, and Mizera returned the dishes to the shelves.
「Um, is it alright if I stack these plates together?」
「Yes. Please stack them on the second shelf, right side」
Of course, the questions were directed to Wendy, both because of her position and her gender.
Watching them, they looked less like parent and child and more like sisters.
Mizera followed Wendy’s instructions carefully, helping without hesitation.
With her, the work efficiency improved, and I thought everything would be finished in no time, but then,
Crash.
The sound of something breaking rang out.
Looking over, I saw Mizera crouching down in a panic.
「I-I’m sorry. I’ll pick it up right away…」
「Don’t touch it! It’s dangerous!」
I grabbed Mizera’s arm before she could reach out, stopping her from touching the shards with bare hands.
I only wanted to keep her from cutting her fingers, but,
「I’m sorry……」
「Mizera?」
She kept repeating apologies where she stood, and an abnormal atmosphere filled the air.
Her face was pale, her arm trembling in my grip, even her lips quivering.
「It’s alright. You’re fine… you’re not hurt, are you?」
「I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I don’t want to go to the basement… I’ll clean it up right away…」
There was no mistaking it, something was terribly wrong.
This must have triggered her trauma…
「Master, I’ll take Mizera back to her room. May I leave this to you?」
Before I could even regret what happened, Wendy acted immediately.
「Yeah. Stay with her and make sure she’s alright. I’ll come by once she’s calmed down」
「Understood. Mizera, can you stand?」
「I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…」
Supported by Wendy, Mizera left the room, her back trembling as she walked away.
Watching her go, I felt a sharp ache in my chest.
-0-
As I finished washing the remaining dishes, drying them and returning them to the shelves, my thoughts kept drifting back to Mizera’s condition.
It was only natural to think her past trauma had surfaced again.
And the fact that my raised voice and sudden grip on her hand might have been the trigger left me with a heavy, helpless feeling.
I really did something awful…
Today should have ended on a good note, but I ruined it with something unnecessary.
As I was thinking that, Wendy returned alone, her face solemn.
「Master. Mizera has calmed down… I’ll take care of things here, so please go see her」
「Is it alright for me to go?」
「Yes. She said she wants to apologize to you…」
「…I see」
I left the room, switching places with Wendy.
Since Mizera’s room isn’t prepared yet, I headed to my own and knocked on the door.
「I’m coming in」
「…Yes」
Her voice was faint, and she looked as though all the energy had left her.
It was only natural, but compared to how cheerful she had been earlier, it felt unreal.
「Are you alright?」
「Yes… I’m sorry for worrying you」
「I see. You didn’t hurt your fingers, did you?」
「No, thanks to you taking my hand, I was fine」
「That’s good… Sorry, for raising my voice like that」
「No, please don’t bow your head, milord. Because of you, I wasn’t injured…」
「Hearing you say that helps…」
After a short silence, Mizera was the one who spoke.
「…Before, when I was helping in the same way, I broke a plate. When I tried to be careful, they said I was too slow and scolded me… so I hurried so I wouldn’t be yelled at, and in the end I broke another plate. After that, I was locked up in the basement…」
「…」
I kept my mouth shut and simply listened to Mizera’s story.
I wanted to know what happened, no, I needed to know.
But I had no intention of forcing her to speak beyond what she could bear.
So I decided to listen quietly to as much as she wished to share.
「A pitch-dark basement with no light at all, not even sunlight. I wasn’t let out, not for a long time… The food was only a little. Just the hard ends of black bread, and cold tasteless soup… Nothing compared to today’s meal…」
How terrible must that have been…
A person’s body breaks down if they’re kept from the sun.
Darkness eats away at the heart.
Anxiety, fear, exhaustion, despair… little by little, the mind crumbles.
Mizera spoke of the past as if it were nothing, but her face was pale, and even telling the story seemed painful, as though remembering it hurt her deeply.
「When my heart was breaking, my former master told me this. Since I was useless, I should at least use my Life Oath (Only One)… But even then, I didn’t use it. The tiny shred of hatred I had left would not allow it. After that, my meals became once a day… a piece of black bread with footprints on it, scraps of vegetables, and a single cup of water」
I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my flesh.
Biting my lip, I felt hatred welling up toward that former master whose face I did not even know.
To cross a line so far beyond what a human should ever do…
「That’s why today made me so happy. It was so delicious. So much fun… I realized how wonderful a meal could be. How warm cooking could feel… and yet… I’m sorry」
「You have nothing to apologize for… None of this is your fault, Mizera」
「No… I can’t do anything. I know you’re not like the ones before. I can tell just from how Wendy-sama and the others enjoy themselves. But even when you’re kind to me, I can’t give anything back…」
That wasn’t true.
Even though she broke a plate today, I was grateful she had tried to help.
Most of all, hearing her say that today was fun, that she enjoyed it, had made me truly happy.
「I don’t have any skills at all. As a half-elf, my growth is poor… I was never taught anything. I can’t contribute as an adventurer like Aina-san and the others. I can’t work as a guard like Shiro-san. I can’t handle housework like Wendy-sama…」
Then Mizera continued.
「I can’t stay here. I can’t return anything to someone as kind as you… On the contrary, just by being a half-elf, I’ll bring you trouble. To Wendy-sama, to everyone who has helped me… and to you, too. I don’t want to be a burden…」
Ah… damn it.
She really is such a good girl…
I felt like punching myself for ever saying I would drive her out if she caused trouble, or that I wouldn’t stop her if she wanted to leave.
No, I ‘will’ punch myself.
I slammed my right fist into my cheek.
I didn’t hold back, hitting hard enough that I split the inside of my mouth.
But unless it hurt, there was no meaning in repentance.
「M-Milord!?」
「…I’ve decided」
「Decided… what?」
「Mizera. I’m sorry, but I want to take back what I said earlier about letting you go quietly. That’s no longer an option」
「Eh…?」
「I’ve decided to make you happy. That’s why I can’t just let you walk away」
I will make this girl happy.
No, she must become happy.
Above all, for my own sake.
「Didn’t you hear me? I…」
「I heard. And even so, I’ve decided」
「What… you’re going to ignore my feelings…?」
「Yeah」
Yes. From here on, this is entirely my selfishness.
I was ignoring Mizera’s feelings, pushing through my own desires.
「Then I’ll just run away on my own…」
「Do as you like. I’ll do as I like too. So… be ready for it」
With only those words, I left the room.
Outside, Wendy was waiting with a worried face, and Shiro had just returned from her walk.
「Master…! You’re bleeding…!」
「It’s fine. This is my punishment to myself. Anyway… Wendy, I need you to watch over Mizera for now」
「Y-yes… but, what happened?」
「Hm. Lord, your face looks resolved… Are you going to do something?」
「Yeah」
I took a breath, then looked at the two of them with a serious expression.
「From here on, will you go along with my selfishness?」
「Yes」「Hmm」
They didn’t ask what it was.
But both of them nodded immediately.
I pulled them both close, embracing them as if leaning on their strength.
Right now, I am happy.
Coming to this world, meeting these two.
「Hey, let us in on that selfishness too」
「That’s right. Leaving us out isn’t fairssu」
「My liege, we too shall lend what little help we can」
Aina and Sorte, fresh from the bath.
Renge, who had been resting after the meal, appeared, and I embraced them as well.
I had people I cared about, and that number kept growing. Because of that, I had come to love this world.
And that is why I cannot forgive it.
I cannot forgive the reality that in this beloved world, such a gentle girl is forced to wear a sorrowful expression.
I want her to smile. I want her to feel that living is joyful, that happiness exists in the everyday.
That is why I decided.
Now, let’s begin.
This selfish, childish, self-centered desire of mine, this wish to force happiness upon another.
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