「Did you say something to Noie again?」
「You asked me something similar before. I would really like to know what this is all about.」
Put yourself in my position, I am fighting every day against a mountain of documents that has grown violently large because of the wedding preparations. In this state, if I whispered anything strange to Noie, my neck would literally be on the line. I am already busy enough.
And why on earth am I being dragged into the behind-the-scenes work for my own wedding?
「You complain too much, idiot little brother. Give up and do the work.」
「Yes, yes. So what did Noie do?」
「Lately she has been relentlessly teasing Mische, apparently.」
「…is she calling her leftover now too?」
If that is the case, I definitely feel guilty. I would honestly apologize.
「She did not say that. It is mostly 『I… am young』 and 『flat』.」
「What are those perfectly aimed Mische-killing words? Is that not something the entire squad taught her together instead of me?」
「I cannot deny that possibility. But apparently it happens every single day, so Mische snapped and yelled 『Lutte’s are way too big! Even the captain’s look small compared to those!』… The fire spread in a weird direction, and Frea, who is supposed to mediate, started complaining 『My stomach hurts』. It sounds like a huge mess.」
Why is it? Hearing the story somehow makes it sound like they all get along well and everything is peaceful.
「But Mische’s words are correct. Lutte’s really are too big.」
「You are an idiot, little brother. What is wrong with being big?」
「For me, Noie’s size is perfect. Especially the shape, it is wonderful.」
「Hah! Saying 『the shape is good』 is just an excuse from guys stuck with mediocre, neither-small-nor-big half-hearted chests!」
I see. So that is how you are coming at me.
「A chest that is only big is nothing more than a lump of fat, right? They are unnecessarily heavy, so they sag faster… And if you just want something big to squeeze, you can squeeze a butt instead.」
「You do not understand at all. It is precisely because they are big that there is the joy of lifting them from below and kneading them. And butts are not for squeezing. They are for touching and caressing all over.」
「I have no complaints about your view on butts. But when it comes to chests, I will not yield an inch.」
「Oh? Then what will you do?」
That is obvious.
「I will never forgive anyone who insults beautiful breasts!」
I lunged with all my strength at the big-breast faction member.
-0-
「The dress is being made now that Noie’s measurements are done. Soon Father will announce to the generals and nobles in the capital that your formal wedding ceremony will be held. We will invite important people from other countries too and make it really grand.」
「…Yes.」
With my brother’s foot grinding into my back, I keep sniffling and whimpering.
I lost. The charm of beautiful breasts could not beat the overwhelming power of massive ones.
「So, what about the Empire? They will probably complain a lot, right?」
「Ah, that place. We are not inviting them.」
「Huh?」
「I said we are not inviting them. There is nothing we can do about it, right? The documents never reached them, and our envoy is still stuck somewhere. So, we will use that as the reason not to send them an invitation. Instead, for the Republic, we are preparing the best seats right next to the king and inviting them warmly.」
Ugh, please do not grind your foot into my back with such perfect pressure.
「That is ruthless.」
「What is?」
「If you do that, the Empire’s pride will be completely crushed.」
「It cannot be helped. We cannot contact them, after all.」
That is technically true… but I feel like it will cause a huge uproar.
「…Will that really be okay?」
「It should be. The Empire will probably blame a few civil officials for the blunder, execute them, and call it a day. Something like 『Those men acted on their own. We knew nothing about it.』」
「Wow…」
What kind of selfish logic is that?
「That is how the Empire operates. So later they will look down on us and demand we invite them anyway.」
「What will you do?」
「We have no choice but to send an invitation. But their seats will be below the Republic’s.」
「That will definitely cause trouble.」
「It cannot be helped. We have preparations to consider too. The ones who cut off diplomatic channels are at fault.」
I understand what you’re trying to say, but if you do something like that, it’s likely to cause resentment from the Empire.
「The Empire will get angry, right?」
「They probably will.」
「What will you do about that?」
「That is why we have the Republic. They understand our situation, so they will definitely step in to help.」
As long as that help is not a sinking ship.
「Like selling us a favor?」
「That is what aniki thinks. It would be nice if they came for actual benefits… but they will definitely try to rack up some goodwill.」
「That sounds troublesome.」
「It is totally troublesome.」
「Ugh, ouch ouch.」
He gave one final press with his foot and finally stepped back.
I should stop picking fights like this. See, arguing is just pointless.
「Well, with that, the diplomatic issue should be settled for now.」
「Really?」
「For now. But both the Empire and the Republic want Noie. What tricks they will pull next… just thinking about it gives me a headache.」
My brother sinks into his chair and shrugs with a weary sigh.
「You just focus on getting through the wedding smoothly.」
「Yes, yes.」
「And… you are really sure Noie will be your only wife for life?」
You are really persistent about this.
「You do not need to confirm it over and over. Honestly, being told to have multiple wives would be impossible for me. I have been used to monogamy for so long that the idea of more than one feels incredibly wrong. My mind rejects it completely.」
「You hate it that much?
Fine. Then when Father makes the announcement, I will add the line 『I will take no wife but Noie』 for you. A king’s declaration is absolute, you know?」
「Just go ahead and do it already. Why not ask His Majesty to declare it today? Something like 『Argusta will take only Noie as his wife.』」
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