「Arg-sama.」
「Welcome back, Noie.」
「Yes.」
These days, my routine has become sitting outside in a chair, reading books under the open sky.
This world has plenty of adventure stories too, and some are really interesting.
Besides, being outdoors means I can spot her return instantly.
No one else kicks up that much dust charging straight toward me except Noie.
Today, after finishing work, she sprinted here at full speed again.
Some days she stops to hunt dragons along the way, but today she’s carrying a bundle of documents from Frea-san… and…
「What’s that?」
「Found it.」
Mische dangles helplessly, held by the collar like a cat.
-0-
「Aaaah～. So nice! This hot spring really soaks into my bones～」
「……」
Mische, who jumped in first, starts swimming energetically.
Zero manners.
「Ah.」
「Does it hurt?」
「Just stings a little.」
「……」
Noie’s fingers move gently as she applies ointment to the wound on my back.
It’s bad to soak open wounds directly in the water.
So normally, you apply a water-repellent herbal salve first.
Unfortunately, that herb stings quite a bit.
I wrap a towel around my waist to cover the important parts before heading to the bath.
I rinse quickly with the ladle, then slip into the hot spring.
Ah～.
Feels amazing.
Though the idiot’s dog-paddle is kind of in the way.
Hot springs in this world are usually mixed bathing, so when strangers of opposite genders bathe together, it’s standard etiquette to cover up with a towel like this.
Some idiot is basically naked, though.
Noie slips in beside me without even making ripples, completely bare, of course.
Huh?
Does that mean I’m the weird one for following manners?
「So, Mische?」
「Yesh～」
「Why are you all the way up north?」
「Well～. It’s a long story…」
With that preface, she starts talking.
Apparently, she chased the execution team that attacked me for days…until they pulled a crazy move, jumping into a river and swimming upstream, which forced her to abandon the pursuit.
After that, she ran from dragons while starving and dizzy until Noie picked her up.
「So, you went after that ogre.」
「Yes. That one’s cheating! How does someone get boin? bain? boobs like that?!」
「It’s probably just differences in basic bone structure and all. Plus… she gets bigger every time she gets serious.」
「Even bigger?! What kind of cheat item is that?!」
It’s not just the chest… but pointing that out would just be exhausting, so whatever.
「Ah～. I want big, impressive breasts like that too.」
Those aren’t even human-sized, though.
Noie… stop fluffing your own chest like that.
It’s plenty big, okay?
I sink back into the warm water, letting my body relax completely.
Mische drags Noie out of the bath for a moment.
What are they up to?
「Fu fu fu…. time to give our beloved captain a thorough full-body wash as thanks for always taking care of us!」
「……」
「Come on, show me proof you’re all grown up now!」
Mische charges at Noie, one hand holding a cloth, the other a bottle of liquid soap.
「Nua～! What is with this tiny waist?! And wow, your butt has such a nice shape! But most of all, these unfair boobs! Onee-san never raised you to turn out like this!!」
「……」
Noie gets pushed down and scrubbed everywhere without mercy.
But since she can’t do much for herself, this is apparently how she’s been washed since long ago.
The maids probably don’t go this extreme, though.
「Ah～ satisfied.」
「……」
Mische looks smug and triumphant, while Noie seems completely worn out.
The contrast is striking.
I can’t let Noie end up the one who got done in!
「Noie.」
「Yes?」
「As thanks, wash Mische for me.」
「Eh?」
Mische freezes.
「Understood.」
「……Captain? Wait… why are your fingers wiggling so eagerly…? Nyaa～!!」
Roles reversed.
Now Noie is the one scrubbing Mische vigorously.
Yes… very vigorously.
「It’s peeling off! Something’s slipping right off!! Ah～! This actually feels kinda nice～!」
「……」
Noie silently washes Mische’s face.
I’m pretty sure no amount of scrubbing will clean out her rotten personality, though.
-0-
「So you stayed overnight at Arg’s place and came back?」
「Ahaha.」
Halfren grabs the paper knife from the desk and flings it at the idiot trying to laugh it off.
「That’s dangerous～. Hey, if you’re gonna point something hard at me, better aim it over here and thrust」
「Stop talking nonsense and give your report.」
「Fine, fine. The enemy execution team was definitely under the great general’s command.」
「Kishara’s subordinate, huh. And that giant woman who did that to Arg?」
Mische talks while casually claiming the sofa and reaching for the sweets on the table.
「A monster like that… so there are others besides Captain.」
「You of all people calling her a monster means she’s the real deal.」
「Yes. I tried to hit her a few times during the chase… but no～ scary, scary. She snapped trees in half with a swing of her arm, grabbed a small dragon one-handed and threw it… total domination.」
She munches on sugar-dusted pastries and signals the maid for a drink.
For her to come back unscathed after facing someone that unreasonable… she’s pretty monstrous herself.
「Who in this country could handle her?」
「Only Captain, probably. Even the prince might struggle.」
「But personally, I’d love to meet her and fight once.」
Halfren flashes a battle-hungry grin.
Mische sighs and shrugs at her former master.
「Sure, her boobs were unbelievably huge, though.」
「……I’m talking as the older brother seeking revenge for my little brother, you know?」
「No one would believe that.」
For now, Halfren throws the desk pen at the idiot’s head.
「That’s why I said aim something hard at me～」
「Enough sleep-talking….Make up some excuse for Frea. Go do some work.」
「Ugh～. Such a pain.」
Mische twirls the quill and flops onto the sofa.
Seeing her blatantly fishing for something, he decides to offer a little kindness.
「Desertion in the face of the enemy used to be punishable by beheading, right?」
「I didn’t desert! I was pursuing!」
「If there’s no eyewitness… right?」
「……You’re the worst.」
She puffs out her cheeks and waves the quill like a white flag in surrender.
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