While the witch kept pleading 「Please, just let me stab you once」 over and over, today’s tour finally came to an end.
Instead of dropping her at the guest house, we left the witch at the Republic’s ambassadorial residence, then stopped by the castle on the way home so I could head to the office.
For this reception duty, daily report submissions are mandatory. Pure harassment.
The office was empty. On the desk sat a single towering stack of documents addressed to me.
Fuhahaha… nope. Ignoring them.
There was also a memo that simply read 『Ca～ke～』.
Why is something like this here? The handwriting looks like Lutte’s… ah. The prototype must be done.
For now, I shoved every annoying item out of sight and quickly finished writing the report.
「Noie.」
「Yes.」
「Hold that bag properly, okay?」
「Yes.」
Noie easily lifts the noticeably heavy bag without issue.
From the outside, it just looks like she’s carrying snacks.
Well, that’s exactly why I made a detour to pick it up.
-0-
「So, today’s problem is this.」
「……」
Noie pokes the box I placed on the bed with her finger.
A silver, rectangular box. Fairly thin. Something the size of a phone book could probably fit inside?
「And we’re supposed to open this… how?」
「……」
Noie casually picks it up and tries to force it open with brute strength, but no luck.
That’s why I decided to bring it home.
Seriously… there’s no death penalty for stealing an item from the seal warehouse, right?
If ikemen onii-chan says anything, I’ll just bluff my way out at full power.
Noie quickly gives up on opening it, sets the box back on the bed, lies down, and closes her eyes.
She seems to have realized she has no role here and chosen to sleep instead.
No, she’s just sleepy because she overdid it yesterday, right? Same here.
I’ll keep trying a little longer. If it doesn’t work, then sleep.
For now, I tap-tap the formidable enemy lightly.
The box is called 『Kandalni’s Box』.
Glodia told me to find it, and I did… but what now?
As I poked and prodded the box with my fingers here and there, I noticed thin lines running all over its surface.
Not exactly lines…..more like scratches?
When I pressed firmly along one of them, a small section finally gave way and moved.
No way… is this actually a puzzle?!
I’m done. This kind of thing is my natural enemy.
Just as I was about to give up and crawl into bed, Noie, who had already fallen asleep, suddenly sat up with a small rustle.
She shook her head lightly from side to side, spotted the box, and extended her finger.
Shutatatatata… click.
With an utterly blank expression, she moved only the tip of her finger at blinding speed.
And solved the puzzle.
「……」
Then she immediately lay back down.
「Please. Someone, anyone, just tell me your name! I’m seriously scared here!」
At least change your hair and eye color a little! Why do you ignore even that one rule? This is way too free-spirited, isn’t it? Hey?
My complaint is perfectly reasonable.
-0-
「Hey, you perverted onee-san over there.」
Inside the rattling carriage, I, once again running on zero sleep, found myself here today.
I curse you, cousin-san. I can never say that to her face, though.
The witch shoots me a suspicious glance.
「Aren’t you being a little too casual? Even I am an advisor to the Republic, you know.」
「Then take that left hand you’re hiding in your robes and show it.」
The deranged witch pulls out a short dagger, still gripped in her left hand.
What exactly are you planning to do with that? This would literally become an international incident… though this carriage is already a total chaos zone in its own right.
She places the dagger beside her seat and sits back down properly.
「So? What is it?」
「Hmm～. Just a quick question.」
「Yes?」
「When you hear about an incident that happened in our country about ten years ago… what comes to mind?」
「In Univance…」
She knits her brow in a serious expression that almost makes her look like a proper witch.
「……Ah. I believe there were multiple cases of mass hysteria-like incidents. But around that time, dragon attacks were happening everywhere, so similar events occurred to a greater or lesser degree in every nation, including our Republic.」
「I see.」
「……And?」
「Hmm～」
How should I even phrase the next question?
Please stop dumping these impossible homework assignments on me, dear cousin-san.
「Changing the subject… there are summoning spell formulas, right? Just how far can those pull things from other worlds?」
「……How far, meaning?」
「Living things… or inorganic objects. In other words, tools and such.」
She answers my question with a faint look of exasperation.
「No country summons tools or objects, as far as I know. More importantly, even if you did summon something, it would be useless garbage if no one knows how to use it.」
「Right?」
I already knew that. This was just a confirmation question.
Don’t give me that look like I’m some pitiful child.
「So basically, it’s always living things.」
「Not just humans?」
「Of course… Ah. You mean the Empire’s monster?」
「Something like that.」
She conveniently provided the perfect landing spot, so I take it.
The witch leans forward slightly, folding her body in a way that, somehow, emphasizes her chest even more as she brings her face closer.
「I heard Argusta-sama fought the Empire’s monster… How was it?」
「A real monster. Tall, and it grabbed me with one hand like I was nothing. Felt like my ribs were about to get crushed. Broke a few, actually.」
「Is that… true?」
「No reason to lie. If you ever go over there, please take care of her for me. Oh, and keep this from the king and the prime minister. They’ll chew me out later if they find out.」
The witch lets out a soft chuckle.
「I received some simple documents from the King of Univance.」
「Did you now.」
That old lech… I bet he sent those documents thinking he could grope her chest or something.
Pretty sure he’s an ass man, that pervert.
She presses closer again, deliberately emphasizing her chest once more.
Don’t think every man falls just because you’ve got big ones.
「Sorry to disappoint, but big breasts don’t really do it for me. I’ll look, sure, but that’s it.」
「……Aside from Schnitt-sama, the entire Univance royal family seems rather… loose.」
「No. I’m completely devoted to Noie. Is there a problem?」
Today Noie has been quietly clinging to my arm the whole time.
But apparently the witch’s actions sparked something in her, because now her perfectly shaped breasts are grinding, grigri, against me.
While I’m savoring this bliss, you really thought I’d react to something as basic as size?!
「Any weak points?」
「Ah～. The only way is to attack faster than she can regenerate and take her down. Or overwhelm her recovery with overwhelming firepower in one instant… According to that one herself, she hates magic because she can’t punch it.」
「So if it could physically strike magic, it would fight back against spells too?」
「Exactly.」
That really was a muscle-brain type, that ogre.
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