「She landed face-first… Is she alright?」
「Hii… hiii…」
This really isn’t the time for that.
I mean, yes, I am worried about her, but right now my stomach feels like it’s physically twisting!
「Hey, answer me.」
「Hngh! I swear, if you keep this up, I don’t care if you’re a princess, I’ll throw you off!」
「Oho? You’ve got guts. Go ahead and try. My royal guards will silently sever your head before I land.」
Guhhh…
Don’t underestimate my danger sense.
The alarms in my head are blaring like a hurricane. No way I’m actually going to do it!
「Come now, Iris. Don’t cause too much trouble.」
「Says you, sister. Isn’t Lord Hayato the one in distress now?」
Looks like Shuparie-sama managed to secure the seat next to Hayato to watch the matches.
Still, Hayato looks completely drained.
What the hell happened to him while I was busy being tickled?
「I-Is that true!? Did I do something to trouble you, Hayato-sama!?」
「N-No! Not at all! Iris-sama, please don’t say such strange things!」
「Nishishishi」
Th-this girl… she’s enjoying this.
Ah, and Hayato’s completely caught up with that princess again.
She seems the overly expressive type, smiling and sulking with everything she’s got.
To put it nicely, she seems like a lot to handle…
Though I can’t deny she’s on another level of beauty…
「Well, it would be a problem if I actually got thrown and your head came off, so I’ll behave and lean on you now.」
「Please do…」
「But doing nothing is boringggg」
「Just watch the tournament…」
「Hmph. You’ve been speaking rather casually for a while now.」
「My apologies」
I laughed too much earlier and forgot to be respectful.
She’s just a mischievous, restless little kid… that’s all.
「Well, I am of royal blood, but I hold no claim to the throne. I’m more of a free spirit, so you don’t need to worry so much.」
「Huh? What do you mean?」
「Hmm… black hair and black eyes, so you’re the same as Hayato, a Drifter. Then I suppose it makes sense you wouldn’t know.」
Iris lifts one leg and shifts to the side, sliding off my lap.
Then, for some reason, she flips her skirt and pulls my knees together,
and sits back down, this time facing me.
Now, with the way she’s seated, her skirt is covering my entire lower half.
「There. Hold my waist.」
「Yeah, yeah」
I wrap my arms around her waist as instructed, and she leans into me with her full weight.
I adjust my balance so we don’t topple over, but she’s also shifting her position to meet my gaze, which makes the situation incredibly precarious.
If I slip up now, my head may very well part from my body.
「Yes. Facing this way does make it easier to talk.」
「Well, they do say to look people in the eye when you’re speaking to them.」
「What is that supposed to mean? In the animal kingdom, making eye contact is a threat that says, ‘I’m going to eat you’, you know?」
「But we’re humans…」
「Humans are animals too. Which means you’ve been telling me you’re going to eat me this whole time. I’m frightened.」
「I think it’s the other way around. I’m pretty sure it’s the princess who’s going to eat me.」
「Shall I eat you, then?」
She stuck out her tongue in a teasingly seductive way… or at least, that’s probably what she was trying for.
Hahaha, you’re ten years too early for that!
「Hmm. I feel like I’ve just been mocked. Was that just my imagination?」
「I think it was your imagination.」
「That’s the best smile I’ve seen from you yet.」
「I think it was your imagination.」
I think it was your imagination.
「Stop patting my head! That’s disrespectful!」
「Yeah yeah. Good girl, good girl.」
Ahh, I’m done for.
This girl’s just a child. I’m going to spoil her rotten!
「Nuuuuu… That technique… you’ve made many women cry, haven’t you? This is quite pleasant!」
「Humbled and honored.」
「Oh. That’s an Amatsukuni phrase, isn’t it?」
「Is it? Why does Her Highness know it?」
「Hmm. I’m quite well-educated, so of course I know it!」
「I see. As expected of you.」
「Fufufu. Praise me more!」
Instead of words, I upped the intensity of my head pats.
My head-patting technique has five levels, you know.
Still, it really does feel like Amatsukuni shares a lot with Japanese culture.
「Now, let’s get back to the topic. You may keep your hand there. But support me firmly, even with just one hand.」
「Understood.」
I used my non-patting hand to support her, though she didn’t seem to be putting her full weight on me anymore.
It was more like she just needed a bit of balance.
Still, Her Highness’s hair is incredibly smooth.
As I gently stroked her head, careful not to disturb her tiara, I found her hair soft and pleasant to the touch, very satisfying to pet.
This might be the time to unleash my ultimate technique: the 『Nyanko Supreme Bliss Massage』.
A legendary petting skill that can melt any cat into a puddle of delight, so addictive it could even be used to train them to do tricks in exchange for pats.
Fufufu. Her Highness is about to fall under my spell—
「My parents are no longer with us.」
…This is no time for jokes.
What the hell was I thinking? That’s way too heavy.
What was I going to do with a 『Nyanko Supreme Bliss Massage』 in a moment like this?
I… I…
「Well, they’re still alive, but not around.」
「Wait, really?」
Come on, don’t scare me like that.
I was this close to permanently sealing away all my petting techniques as a form of penance.
「Indeed. The current king, well, he’s my uncle. My father was his older brother. He was a brilliant man, but also quite free-spirited. He renounced his right to the throne and handed it to his younger brother, deciding to live as he pleased. Then he disappeared along with the rest of the family.」
「From a commoner’s perspective, that sounds like…」
「You’re thinking people must’ve suspected my uncle of foul play, right? But our grandfather, the former king, was still alive at the time. It was officially declared, and my father gave up his right to the throne and even his royal status.」
Seriously?
I never had any dreams of becoming royalty, but to throw away a position like that… just what kind of situation would drive someone to do it?
And then, why is she the only one still in the palace?
「Father did ask me if I wanted to go with him…」
At that, the princess lowers her head, hiding her expression.
Yeah, I guess even now it must be a painful memory.
She must have decided to shoulder her father’s place and fulfill her duty as royalty, all with that small body of hers.
I can’t even imagine the pressure she’s under.
「I told him he was an idiot and turned him down!」
「Huh?」
Wait, sorry, did I hear that right?
What did she just say?
「Why would I ever give up this life of luxury!? I asked Uncle to let me do as I please in exchange for giving up my claim to the throne! Everything Father left behind is mine! His personal funds, his guards, all mine! Well, two of them were taken away, though!」
「So basically, you have no interest in the throne, but you do want to live however you like, using wealth and power.」
「Exactly! I eat delicious food, go wherever I want whenever I please, no forced marriage arrangements, no annoying throne succession battles, what could be better!?」
「And you’re being protected by your father’s former royal guards…」
「Well, yes! Father’s guards were unique, but I feel much safer with them than ordinary ones!」
I see…
So, all that serious thinking I just did wasn’t even close.
Now I just feel embarrassed.
So much for duty. She wasn’t secretly a noble girl with a good heart, she really is exactly as she seems.
Still…
「Princess…」
「What is it, got a problem with me!?」
She bared her teeth in a show of intimidation, but to me, it looked unbelievably adorable.
Like a little kid pretending to be a lion.
「I’m really jealous!」
「Huh!?」
Honestly, that’s pretty much my dream life.
To live safe and sound, without having to work.
To eat good food, drink good booze, and surround myself with beautiful women while doing whatever I want.
To think someone was already living that dream… right here.
Removing something as troublesome as the right to the throne and instead gaining the freedom to do as she pleased, that was truly brilliant!
For the king, it meant no unnecessary conflict, and he could pass the throne on to his own children.
And for her, it meant she could live freely.
As expected of the daughter of the man who gave up the throne.
This freedom must run in the family!
「I see, I see! You’re a man who gets it!」
「And you, Princess! I’m truly jealous!」
「I like you! No need to call me Princess, just Iris will do! I thought the nobles would look at me with that same contemptuous expression when they heard this story, but a man who understands truly understands!」
「No no, it sounds like an ideal life to me!」
「Yes, yes! What you’d call drinking and eating life in Amatsukuni, yes?」
「Truly a drinking and eating life!」
A pool filled with wine, a forest of meat skewers.
Not the kind of drinking and eating life filled with lust.
This time, it’s the literal one!
「Ano, Master? Shiro’s match is about to begin…」
「What!? Already the fourth match!?」
「Yes. You seemed to be enjoying your conversation with Princess Iris, so I didn’t want to interrupt, but I thought at least for Shiro’s match, I should say something.」
「Thank you! I almost missed it!」
「What’s this? A comrade of yours?」
「Yes. She’s our adorable little one.」
「Hmm. Then I’ll watch as well. Oh, that’s a Chupacan, isn’t it? Might I have one as well?」
Iris pointed at the candy-on-a-stick Renge was eating and held out her hand expectantly.
Caught off guard by the sudden request, Renge looked back and forth between her own Chupacan and Iris, clearly at a loss.
「Don’t you still have more in the magic bag?」
「Ah! That’s right, I do! I’ll fetch one right away!」
「Is that okay? You bought those at a stall, didn’t you?」
「I often walk around town and eat street food, you know? A true gourmet eats everything!」
If that’s the case, I’ll never be a true gourmet, since I can’t handle bugs…
Not that I mind not being one.
「Here you are!」
Renge stuck her arm into the magic bag, pulled out a Chupacan, handed her own to Sorte for safekeeping, and reverently presented the new one to Iris.
It looked like something that shouldn’t be touched directly, she held it with both hands and bowed her head like an offering to royalty.
「Hmm. A fine service!」
「Yes, ma’am!」
Still bowing, Renge backed away, took back her own Chupacan from Sorte, and tossed it back into her mouth.
Almost simultaneously, the vice-captain took a deep breath, loud enough for everyone to hear.
『And nowwwwwww! Match Four! Let it begin!』
『『『『Uooooooohhhhhhhhh!!!』』』』
Why didn’t I notice how crazy this place was getting until now…?
-0-
AN: Next time, we’ll finally get to the combat.
It’s a battle royale, though.
…Will this arc really fit into just Volume 5?
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