「…I’m an elf?」
「…That’s right. More importantly, clean up the mess yourself」
With that, Mother handed me a cloth. …Huh? What’s with that whole “Oh, that’s all? I was worried for nothing” vibe? But come on, we’re talking about being an elf here!
「M-Mother and Father… are you both elves too?」
At my question, Mother furrowed her brows. …Ah, I rushed it and messed up.
「Call me Mama」
「Sorry, Mother」
「Call me Mama」
「…Yes, Mama」
Mother insists on being called “Mama”.
But being thirty-two years old on the inside, calling her “Mama” is rough. She’ll tolerate “Mother” sometimes, so that’s what I usually go with.
However, if I slip up and call her “Mother,” she’ll correct me back to “Mama.”
It’s because I call her “Mother” in my head that it sometimes slips out…
「S-So Mama and Father are elves?」
Father’s fine with me calling him “Father”.
For now, I asked while wiping the table with the cloth.
「Of course. I’m an elf, Miriam’s an elf, and all humans in this village is an elf」
…Oh, I see. Wait, did she just say “all humans in this village”? So elves are lumped in under “humans”?
Then what about ordinary humans? Are they called the human race or something?
…No, wait, the ears! They’re not long!!
「B-But both of your ears…」
「「Ears?」」
In perfect sync, both Mother and Father covered their ears with their hands. …Okay, them both doing that pose is kind of funny.
Anyway, it seems they’re confused about me being confused about their ears. Which means… having short ears is normal?
「Aren’t… aren’t elf ears supposed to be long?」
「Why?」
「Uh? I don’t know」
The reason elf ears are long? Yeah, I have no idea either.
…I know, that’s not the real point here. I’m just panicking a little. This conversation is awful, nothing is lining up.
「Alec, what’s gotten into you? Calm down」
Mother, clearly concerned at my suspicious behavior, came close and placed a hand on my shoulder. For some reason, I actually felt a little calmer.
Elves, huh… I still don’t know why we don’t have long ears, but thinking about it calmly, there have been plenty of clues.
This village is overflowing with beautiful men and women, or rather, there’s no one here who isn’t. That must be because they’re all elves.
And when you think of elves, you think of bows. My sharp eyesight is probably because I’m an elf skilled in archery. As for why Mother’s chest is so flat… it must be so the bowstring doesn’t hit her, ow ow ow ow ow.
「I feel like I was just terribly insulted」
The gentle hand that had been stroking my shoulder had somehow transformed into a vice grip.
Looks like, just like before, my thoughts slipped through to her… ah, the unshakable bond between mother and child.
But seriously, isn’t being flat-chested kind of a trademark elf trait? I don’t know about nowadays, but still… Even so, does she have a complex about it? I really don’t get how women think, ow ow ow ow ow. I’m sorry, I’ll stop thinking unnecessary things.
「F-Forget the ears. Then, how old are, ow ow ow ow ow」
Wait, that’s a no-go too? I mean yeah, you’re not supposed to ask a woman her age, but aren’t elves supposed to be long-lived? Wouldn’t that make it less of a big deal? Or… do they have the same lifespan as humans?
「I-I’m 340 years old」
Even as Mother loomed menacingly, Father answered for me.
So they ‘are’ long-lived. Still, if age is off-limits even for elves, I really don’t get how women think…
Also, wow, Father’s 340. That’s amazing. Just counting up that high sounds exhausting.
If he was 340 now, that means he was 333 just before I was born. Did they celebrate that like we do in Japan with 88 for beiju and 99 for white longevity?
The next triple number would be 444, that sounds pretty ominous. 666 feels a bit creepy too. 777 though… that one has a lucky ring to it.
「Alec? You alright?」
「Huh? Yeah… I’m fine…」
Like any former Japanese, I replied “I’m fine” to “Are you alright?”
And for now, I really was fine. I’d calmed down quite a bit. Still… an elf, huh. So I really am an elf…
Couldn’t I have found this out sooner somehow…?
Well, I guess ‘now’ was the time to learn it. But still, it took way too long… If only the ears had been long, I would’ve figured it out instantly.
◇
「Alright, I’m heading out」
「Take care」
After learning this shocking new truth, I stuffed the now-cold meal into my stomach and went to see Father off as he left for the hunt.
The man I had thought was just a hunter turned out to be an elf hunting in the Elf Forest. It felt like his fantasy level had jumped several notches.
Well, I suppose it was already high to begin with. A slender ikemen wielding a massive sword to slay monsters was already off the charts in fantasy terms.
Come to think of it, isn’t it unusual for an elf to use a sword? And the Elf Forest… that’s something else I’m curious about. Is it really different from an ordinary forest? Could there even be a World Tree growing somewhere within?
Hmm. So many questions, so many mysteries. …Well, I can just ask. I’ll gather all the things I want to know and ask my parents later.
Time to dig into the truth behind the elves, shrouded in a veil of mystery.
With that resolve in mind, I returned to my room. When I opened the door,
「Ah」
A scrubbing brush was lying on the floor.
I had meant to give it to Father after breakfast before he left, but the shock of the whole elf thing had made me completely forget…
「Well, I’ll just give it to him when he gets back, wait, hold on」
Should I even give it to him?
I was going to hand it over saying I got it from a god, but… what kind of god do elves even worship?
Could it be something like the forest or the World Tree I was thinking about earlier?
Who exactly should I say gave me this scrubbing brush…?
「It feels kind of awkward to just ask my parents, 『Do you believe in God?』…」
That’s a delicate question. I’d rather not be put on trial for heresy by my own loving parents.
「Hmm… but I guess it doesn’t really matter. It’s just a scrubbing brush」
I thought I had been worrying about the scrubbing brush quite a bit, but compared to the shock of learning about elves, it seemed ridiculously small.
Deciding to just leave it be, I tossed the scrubbing brush rather carelessly onto my shelf.
Maybe I was treating an item given by a goddess a little too roughly. I could almost picture Deis-san looking mildly displeased.
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